


Cocoa Butter

by GalekhXigisi



Series: Menstrual fics [16]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Needs Help, Angst, Childhood Sexual Abuse, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, I'm soft :(, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Menstruation, Misgendering, Molestation, Multi, Peacock Adrien Agreste, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trans Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Transphobia, deadnaming, someone please help Adrien
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21714955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Gabriel gives Adrien the peacock miraculous and trauma ensues
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine/Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Nino Lahiffe, Chloé Bourgeois/Alya Césaire, Emilie Agreste/Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur, Luka Couffaine/Nino Lahiffe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi
Series: Menstrual fics [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559251
Comments: 12
Kudos: 199





	1. Chapter 1

Adrien follows his father obediently, counting the footsteps out. It’s the only thing he can do to keep calm, to keep his thoughts collected. It makes him feel bad, honestly. He should trust his father, shouldn’t he? There was no point in him feeling so anxious about any of this, about his father asking him to come to his study. In fact, he should be  _ ecstatic _ that his father wanted his presence to begin with! It was so terribly rare that they spent time together, so why was it giving him such a horrid feeling? 

The entire day felt horrid, actually. After the two akumas this morning and the three yesterday, Adrien had barely gotten a wink of sleep. That wasn’t too abnormal, no, he was used to sleepless nights after being Chat Noir for so long, especially paired with school, photoshoots, and whatever else his father decided to toss into his schedule. He had learned to live with it. But this was the fourth night in a row and his menstrual had decided to make an early visit this morning, staining his clothes and sending him into a panicked frenzy at school that ended with Nino and Luka calming him down after he ran out of class without any warning whatsoever. Kagami and Chloe had supported him in the bathroom when he broke down in tears, both aware of his situation, just like the rest of his class  _ (outside of Lila because Adrien would never dare trust her if his life fucking depended on it). _

Now, it’s late, probably twelve in the morning now if he assumed right. He would probably be taking a quick patrol right now, but his father had asked for him so abruptly that he didn’t have the time to. He usually waited until one, anyway. 

“Father,” Adrien slowly starts, “May I ask why you requested me on such short notice?” It’s formal in a way Adrien had grown used to, even when his mother was around. She was never any better than Gabriel, being the one to assure Adrien never went to public school. It’s been a year, now, though, and he’s been in school for a third of that time.

His father places his fingers on a very specific set of spots on Adrien’s mother’s painting, keys unlocking as it opens. Adrien’s seen it open before. Despite that, it still makes him sharpen as his father’s voice starts, “Adrienne, my dear, I have a…  _ proposition, _ of sorts.” 

“Are you starting a new line?” He voices the question without a second thought. He’s prepared to get shut down, sure, but he never expected Gabriel to genuinely do so. 

“No,” the man says, dialing a few numbers on the safe. Adrien wonders when he changed it from the turning lock. He doesn’t ask as Gabriel stands tall, something now in his hand as he shuts the safe. “You would like your mother back, correct?’ 

Adrien’s stomach flips as he gets asked the question. He had only just started to truly accept the loss of the woman, why was his father taunting him with that now? He was  _ just _ beginning to realize the horrid truth that was his parents’ abuse, neither objectively good in a way he had learned to accept slowly with the assistance of Nino, Luka, and Kagami. Alya, Marinette, and Chloe rarely ever had a comment on the topic, Marinette stumbling over herself  _ (which was finally ceasing) _ while Chloe and Alya didn’t have much experience with abuse, unsure of how to handle. Chloe had started seeing a therapist to help herself and Alya was constantly doing her best to assist in the other’s issues. Marinette and her parents always welcomed him with open arms the few times he had managed to see them. 

He can’t keep his smile from faltering as he softly voices, “O - Of course, I do.” It’s a lie. He doesn’t want her back. Things are better now than they were then. He only dealt with one neglective parent instead of a neglective parent and an abusive one that was much more physical with her anger than the other was. Gabriel was controlling and isolating, sure, but Emilie had left far more bruises than Gabriel had even attempted. He likes Nathalie, who occasionally forces Gabriel to come down and sit with Adrien during mealtime and spends much more time with Adrien than his father even attempted to. 

It takes a sharp nod and his father’s steady tone to grab his attention. “I didn’t think you would, truthfully, after her…  _ treatment,” _ he says in a calculated voice. 

Adrien can’t force himself to reply. Instead, he falls silent, worry etched into his features and smile gone. 

“The proposition, however, is a…  _ mutual agreement, _ I suppose.” 

“Agreement to what,” Adrien inquires. 

Gabriel turns towards the child, nodding at the box in his hands, “That you will do anything to get your mother back, no matter the cost.” 

He doesn’t want her back, but Adrien would do  _ anything _ to see his father smile again, to see that soft, loving expression his parents would share on the best of nights when his mother would put on one of her old films and Gabriel would quote it. Adrien was rarely there for those nights, having snuck out of his room to find his parents watching those films in what was once the living room but now sat vacant and dusty. He wishes he could have been a part of them, but he never could and new he never would, either. 

He instantly agrees, “Of course, Father.” He can practically hear Plagg chiding him. 

“In that case, Adrienne Agreste, my loving daughter, you agree to the terms of bringing back your mother? You will serve until your life’s very end for the chance to see her once again? And you will let  _ nothing _ stop you, nor get in your way?’ 

“I swear,” he says. A lump forms in his throat. He still had yet to tell his father that, well,  _ maybe _ he wasn’t a girl like everyone thought. His class knew, his close friends like Kagami and Luka knew, and his bodyguard knew, but that was it, no one else. Felix had probably put it together by now, the two looking the exact same, even if Felix was masculine and Adrien, well, not so much. They looked just as alike as his aunt and mother did. He even had the ring his father once wore mailed to him with the note,  _ For Adrien, since it was your father’s. _ It had been his father’s wedding ring that was always paired with his mother’s. It was tucked away with the records that he adored so much. 

“Then, Adrienne, I appoint you the miraculous holder of The Peacock.” he places the box in Adrien’s hands, opening if for the younger. Adrien’s throat burns as he pulls it out of the box, pinning it to his chest. A blue light erupts from it, but Adrien doesn’t even flinch or cower. “This is your kwami, the magical little being that gives you your power. Her name is Duusu.” 

The little peacock kwami smiles widely, grinning as she floats around Adrien, inspecting him with wide eyes. “Adi,” she calls, loud and excited, “A new holder! First Fu, then Emilie, then Nathalie, now  _ Adrienne!” _

Adrien flinches at that, slowly asking, “Mother and Nathalie were holders?...” 

Gabriel nods with a concentrated look. “The Peacock miraculous was…  _ broken _ for a rather long while. It would sap the strength from its holders and progressively killed them. Your mother, she ricked it far too much, keeping her transformation until it put her in a coma. It’s started to hurt Nathalie for too much. I can’t afford to put her in the same situation.”

“So you’d sacrifice  _ me _ over  _ Nathalie,” _ Adrien asks, voice broken as he asks it. He knew his father was close with his assistant  _ (and that he loved her, even if he himself didn’t know) _ but this was a new low. 

The older Agreste shakes his head. “No, of course not, Adrienne.” Duusu settle’s on the blonde’s shoulder. “I fixed it, it should work properly now. You will be safe.” 

Adrien huffs out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His lungs and throat ache. It feels like an elephant sits on his chest as he clenches his jaw. “Why do… If  _ you _ are Hawkmoth, then why do you want the miraculouses from Chat Noir and Ladybug?” 

“They grant one wish together, do they not,” he more asks than tells. It was a manipulative line that forced Adrien to nod, though he shouldn’t know that. There were rumors on the Ladyblog that that was why he wanted the miraculouses, so he doesn’t think his father will notice the little flub. He doesn’t as he smirks, “And your mother was injured by her miraculous. No medication a human has made is helping, so, we have to take magical measures.” 

Adrien almost laughs at that phrase. 

“I will let you bond with your kwami tonight, but, tomorrow, after school, you have work to do.” 

“Yes, sir,” Adrien says on reflex. He’s already marching out of the room, mind full of static as he moves. He didn’t even wait for Gabriel to dismiss him. 

His walk to his own room is short, the two kwamis he now possesses chatting as he walks. He can’t understand them, not over the static that buzzes in his head. It’s all overwhelming as he walks to his room, not even in the mood for patrol anymore. His door shuts silently behind him as he walks to his room, pulling open the second drawer on the left and grabbing the sleeping pills he always kept there. He pulls on out and takes a drink of the cup of water he left on his desk from the morning before. It was old and tasted a little gross, but he was alright. 

When Adrien’s head hits the pillow, he almost instantly falls asleep, kwamis forgotten in the background of his dreams. 


	2. Chapter 2

Adrien felt sick to be sitting in the room with his mother’s corpse. He had seen it this morning, his father showing it on display without remorse for the child’s well-being, but now he stood there in a blue feathered suit that wasn’t his own. He had spoken to Duusu, clarified that he was a boy  _ (Duusu said she knew) _ but that he couldn’t transform into anything that wasn’t gender-neutral without raising suspicion. That was how he now ended up with his current predicament, his transformation finally done. 

He wore puffy pants that reminded him of sweatpants, albeit the material much thinner and a lot poofier. It wasn’t see-through, no, but it was flexible and soft, a lot more comfortable than sweatpants, in his opinion. On his chest sat a binder-sports-bra something, the black material pressing his chest flatter. His hair sat in an intricate design, braided like a crown with a blue mask pressed over his face, eyes painted blue and pink with black where the whites of his eyes once were. He liked it, if he were being honest, his fan held in his hands as he inspected the feathers around his waist that sat like a tail. He especially likes the bow in his hair and around his wrists. 

His father hums, asking, “Le Poan, are you ready for your first trial?’ 

Adrien feels sick as he says, “yes, Hawkmoth.” 

-

_ “Ladybug,” _ Viperion calls as he slips beside Carapace, the two almost colliding as the Amok throats the whip on their side, pulling the two together. Viperion pulls the green-themed hero to the side without remorse, rough as he moves, “Where’s Chat Noir? We need him to destroy the Amok!” 

Ladybug wraps the Amok in her yo-yo, Queen Bee moving to sting it, “I’m not  _ sure, _ Viperion! He didn’t pick up!” 

“Maybe he’s asleep,” Ryuuko suggests warily, “He said he was up for days last night, remember?” 

Rena shakes her head as she pulls Queen Bee backward, pulling her from the Amok just in time. They all watch their lead heroine get thrown across the park. “No! He’s  _ never _ missed a fight! Not  _ once! _ And I’ve seen him basically off himself a bunch of times over akumas and amoks, too! He’d rather die than miss a fight!” 

-

Adrien sits in class with his makeup spread over his skin. It’s rough to sit in class now, knowing that just the night before, he had been given a power that would be used for bad and had used it with sour intent just this morning, only a few hours ago. He had been so zoned out, somehow only getting a few hours of sleep. It had added onto the stress of the day, plus the Amok he had caused, then class, then- He presses his pen to the tablet and writes everything that gets said as quickly as he can. It’s summarized, shortened without a second thought. 

_ “Adrien,” _ Nino whispers, “You okay?” 

The boy jerks at his name, turning his attention to Nino with a hum. “Sorry, Nino, d’you say something?” 

His boyfriend frowns, worry lines creasing, “I asked if you were okay, dude.” 

_ “Oh,” _ the blonde whispers dumbly, yawning instantly. “Jus’tired,” he excuses. It wasn’t a  _ full _ lie. He  _ was _ incredibly tired, but it wasn’t the whole truth, either. 

Nino seems to accept it. “Dude, you need to get your dad to let you have a day off. You could come over to my place or Luka’s. We could watch movies and nap.” 

“You know how my dad is about going over to people’s houses,” he murmurs softly, though a smile presses against his lips as his cheeks heat. 

“You could say it’s for a project with Juleka and Rose,” he suggests instead. “Maybe have Nathalie romance him up so he’ll be nice for a day?’ 

Adrien cringes, tongue getting stuck out as he huffs out a near-silent laugh out at Nino’s words. “Gross! I don’t want to know about my dad’s love life!” 

Nino just smirks and shrugs before softly concluding, “You could just sleep now, Adrien… I’ll email you the notes, okay?” 

Adrien considers it for a moment. He  _ was _ tired and he knew Nino had a shared document with Alya, Marinette, and Chloe, so it wasn’t like he was missing too much… Reluctantly, he agrees, saying, “Thank you, Nino… I really owe you one…” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want a soft relationship like Nino, Adrien, and Luka :( I'm gonna write them super soft and in love :(


	3. Chapter 3

It takes three weeks for Adrien to get his father to agree to a night out, just a single night off with the promise of no interruptions, no Akumas or Amoks or  _ anything. _ He had said he needed a night for school work and it was a project that he wanted to be done as soon as possible. That wasn’t a lie, no, he  _ did _ have a project, but he had already finished it to days before and turned it in, putting it in two weeks before the date. He had been paired with Alya, though, and  _ not _ Juleka or Rose, but Gabriel didn’t need to know that. He never checked Adrien’s school work. Adrien had been asking for a night off the entire time, but Gabriel finally agreed because Adrien said it was about school and it wasn’t a school night, so he had agreed. 

That’s how Adrien now ended up curled in a blanket with Luka on his left and Nino on his right. Most of their clothes had been discarded, the three boys now sitting in shorts or just their boxers, limbs tangled beneath the warm blanket as a movie played in the background. It was some television special about the holidays, though it was about to go off. Adrien was more intent on listening to it than anything. 

The news began playing, the loud voice of some masculine reporter’s voice saying, _ “What happened to Chat Noir? Is he dead?” _

“That’s a headliner,” Nino scoffs as he flips the channel. 

“He’s been gone a lot,” Luka says with a slight shrug. “I haven’t seen him in, like, three weeks.” 

“Maybe he lost his miraculous.” 

“To Hawkmoth? As  _ if, _ Chat Noir can hold his own.” 

“But he’s also sacrificial. If he thought it could help the others-” 

“But it  _ hasn’t. _ If anything the akumas have gotten tougher. They’ve always got amoks with them.” 

Adrien listens to the two, his throat feeling tight as they debate whether or not the hero had perished. Adrien really wished he didn’t know that they were the ones beneath Viperion and Carapace’s masks, not when the two didn’t know he sat beneath Chat Noir’s own mask as well as Le Paon’s. He feels guilty, like he’s eavesdropping. In many ways, Adrien is sure he  _ is. _

“Can we  _ not _ talk about this,” Adrien asks softly, finally opening his eyes. He had shut then at some point, relaxed and practically purring. “I don’t really want to talk about a maybe-dead hero on my night off from being stressed. I don’t want to be stressed about Paris losing a superhero.” 

“Sorry,” the other two apologize, completely in sync with each other. 

Nino runs his hand’s through the other’s hair. “What’d you think happened, though, Adrien?... if you don’t mind me asking, that is?” 

Adrien shrugs softly, eyes closing once again. “I don’t know? Maybe he just didn’t want to be a hero anymore…” 

Luka questions, “Wouldn’t he have given his miraculous to Ladybug, then? Since she’s the miraculous keeper now?” 

“Or maybe he gave it to  _ Hawkmoth,” _ Nino theorizes. 

“I meant that maybe he’s just taking an extra long break,” Adrien interrupts with a smirk. “You two both sound like Alya and her theories on the Ladyblog.” He ignores that they also sound like his father, too, constantly talking about the  _ “forgotten hero.” _

Luka laughs, pressing a kiss to Adrien’s cheek. “You’re probably right. It looks stressful to know that all of Paris relies on you to save it. He’s a teenager, right?’ 

Nino nods, “yeah, he said he was in an interview with Alya.” 

“School is stressful,” Adrien concludes easily, though he rarely had trouble with school to even begin with. 

The conversation slowly ends as Luka flips the television to another channel, the three boys settling on a show. Adrien listens as well as he can as the tired warmth that comes with cuddling settles over him. The last thing he hears before sleep invades is his boyfriends saying that they loved him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired and soft and my ear hurts so good night :(


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter implies sexual assault and molestation with more than one implication, even outright saying that this was not the first time. it is not explicit or shown, but it does have guilt and aftermath that sometimes comes. This will be a slight theme in further chapters, so, please be careful and don't read it if that bothers or triggers you.

Adrien’s eyes carefully scan over the whole of Paris, seeing through the eyes of his amok as it falls. Ladybug pulls the ribbon that wrapped around the doll’s neck, severing his connection as it gets ripped by the girl in red. His eyes scan over her form, scanning her movements even after the few minutes he gets to just stand there. Somehow, within the month he had been the peacock’s holder, he had managed to break the barrier on how long he could stay in his transformation after using his amok. He could do the same with Chat Noir, but no one needed to know that, not after the news had proclaimed Chat Noir to  _ “Officially be gone.” _

“She’s getting sloppy,” Adrien says from behind the cover of the feathers, “she’s losing her grip.” 

Hawkmoth smirks and nods, still watching from the window as his akuma flies away, his own connection suddenly cut, too. “You’re right. We were close this time, too.” 

Adrien agrees, “Again.” It was the fourth time they had gotten so close within the past week, the fourth time they had almost seen someone’s identity. He had seen Rena Rouge’s transformation fall, but Queen Bee had been quick to protect her and get her miraculous back. Adrien was never going to spill that Alya sat behind the fox’s mask, covering with, _ she was too quick for me to see. _ She wasn’t, but Adrien didn’t want the miraculouses to even begin with. He was glad to suspend his torture as much as he could to ensure his friends wouldn’t have to. If his amok turned left when it should have turned right, Le Poan would blame it on the amok and not himself. Hawkmoth never found it in him to comment or he hadn’t noticed. And he totally caught the excuse that Queen Bee had kicked the miraculous out of the amok’s hand and  _ not _ that they had dropped it in Queen Bee’s hands. 

Hawkmoth lets out a loud cackle, happy as he drops his transformation. “We’re so close, Le Paon!” 

He nods at his father, not acknowledging the hand that presses against his waist. His father had been much more physically affectionate than he had previous to this month. Le Poan never comments on it. “Correct,” he says, “We should be able to get their miraculouses soon.” 

Gabriel still holds his happy expression. It makes the child’s stomach stir unhappily, but he holds in the impending vomiting he’ll be doing when he returns to his room. Instead, he listens as his father says, “Tomorrow, we’ll be unveiling you, Adrienne, as our new Mayura to Ladybug and the other heroes of Paris. We’ll let them know that this is the start of a  _ new _ era.” 

Adrien ignores when the hand travels to his hip, making his way out of the room after the transformation falls. Tears collect on his cheeks and he tries not to cry. Neither Plagg nor Duusu make any comments as he walks down the halls, sniffling at the lingering touch of his father on his hip. 

-

“THe amok just…  _ dropped it,” _ Carapace asks Queen Bee, his eyes wide as he stares at the heroine currently sitting atop the Eiffel Tower. They were tuckered out after this one. It had almost had Queen Bee and Ladybug’s miraculouses, too. Things were getting far too close for anyone’s comfort. 

Rena quickly nods, her hands tightly clasped shut and her eyes wide, too. She reports, “Yeah! The amok dropped it  _ right  _ into Queenie’s hands! It was almost like they didn’t want to have it!” 

Ladybug hums thoughtfully as her legs dangle from the side of the building. “Maybe Mayura doesn’t want to fight anymore?” 

“Do you think Hawkmoth talked about his plan for the miraculouses,” Bunnyx questions, her own legs swinging, “since they might have captured Chat Noir’s? If they did, he would have told Mayura, right?’ 

“But then Chat would be in danger,” Ladybug replies, “and he said he was a teenager that was pretty famous…  _ ish? _ If he were famous, don’t you think his possible disappearance would be all over the news?” 

Viperion gives a sharp nod, “You’re right, Ladybug.” he leans against the tower, chin settled in his hand. “Maybe he really is just taking a long break?” 

The conversation halts for a moment before Carapace carefully asks, “Do you guys… Think maybe he quit because he thought we tried to replace him?” 

Ryuuko quickly shakes her head, almost appalled as she asks, “Why would he?” 

Carapace carefully avoids their aghast expressions as he concludes, “We’ve brought in a bunch of new heroes over the past month… After he missed that battle, we had to bring Multimouse in as a distraction for Ladybug… Maybe he saw that and just didn’t want to come back because he thought we didn’t want him anymore?” 

The lead heroine instantly shakes her head, “No, no, Chatton would  _ never _ just abandon us. He loves the rest of the heroes. I remember when we first started making Carapace and Rena usuals and he was  _ ecstatic. _ He practically had stars in his eyes every single time he saw new heroes or his friends again. He even suggested bringing in new heroes just to have them at some points.” A determined look crosses the heroine’s face. The group knows better than to cross it as they watch the aching gaze. 

-

Adrien tries not to think about anything as he showers that night. Only hours before, he had stood as Le Poan for a second time that day. His father’s hand had inched down more and- 

He sniffles and wipes his face, burning water harshly spraying against pale skin as tears burn at his face. Duusu runs her hands through his hair, massaging his scalp as soap washes over his body. Plagg, however, was keeping his distance, supplying bottles Duusu softly asked for without hesitation but not touching Adrien in the least. 

“Am… Am I a slut,” he asks the kwamis, sniffling. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. His childhood was full of exposure, a lot of it helping him rise to the fame he was currently at. There had been a lot of touch he was far from comfortable with and it had distanced him from people even more so than his parents had done to him. However, Chloe had stayed his friend when he pulled away from the world and after his mother’s disappearance, he had been thriving, really. The touching had stopped and he had decided he wanted to go to school after his blonde best friend had vouched for it because  _ my class accepted my transition, too, Adrien. _

Duusu halts her movements instantly, confused as she asks, “Adrien, what do you mean?” 

“It’s not the first ti - time this has happened,” he whimpers to the kwamis, “so - so, am I a slut?” 

Plagg shakes his head, instantly calling, “Of course, you’re not, Adrien! You didn’t ask for this and you  _ clearly _ didn’t want it! And even if you  _ are, _ it’s not like any of us kwamis or your friends won’t still love you very much! Nino and Luka still love you! They love you _ a lot!” _

Adrien nods. FOr some reason, it doesn’t stop his cries as he sits beneath the blazing water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue and You're Welcome from Heathers hits hard on my ptsd and I'm not feeling too gucci tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

Le Paon stands in the alleyway with his eyes wide and full of terror. Roi Singe didn’t mean any harm, not  _ really, _ no, because Adrien knew Kim was beneath that mask. Kim would never hurt a fly, no matter what. Sure, he would lose his marbles every once in a while, but Adrien’s own ADHD did the same for him sometimes. Adrien had practically bouncing off the walls with his nerves this morning, He had thrown up twice before realizing that attempting to keep food down was fucking  _ pointless. _

He and his father had gotten separated over the course of the fight, most of the heroes taking on the amok or the akuma while Ladybug took on Hawkmoth and Roi Singe went for Le Paon. Adrien had held his own for the entire time up until now, getting tackled to the ground by the hero that he knows is practically harmless, even with the unpredictable miraculous and power up. His entire world flops within seconds. 

_ Hands pin the child down to the ground, the cobblestone too cold on bare skin as his mother watches with a smirk, cameras aimed at him as he whines and begs for it to stop. His mother doesn’t even look at him. Instead, the woman is discussing with the man behind the camera, money already getting exchanged. _

“Get off of me,” he begs, though his voice doesn’t come out. His breathing speeds up, words stuttered as he feels tears burn at his eyes. He can’t move outof the pure fear. 

Roi Singe’s eyes widen, instantly moving his hands from the other boy’s wrists, “What-” 

_ “Plagg,” _ he cries,  _ “Duusu, mix!” _ It’s a spur of the moment decision, one made purely out of genuine fear, “Plagg, claws out!” He’s sure that if he could, he would have called for Tikki and Sass, too. Hell, even Nooroo, if he had that power. Instead, he watches the other hero stumble back.  _ Other hero, _ Adrien scoffs to himself as he stands himself, already running out of the alley as he drops Plagg, the transformation falling. He just wanted the surprise. Before he leaves the alley, he turns towards Roi Singe, watery eyes staring at the hero. 

The boy sits on the ground, eyes wide and full of emotions. The blonde can’t pin any of them, especially not as the tears burn their trails down his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry, Kim,” he says, letting the boy’s name slip, “I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to be  _ Le Poan. _ I’m Chat, I promise, but I can’t-” he stops talking after he realizes he can’t explain it, not now. Instead, he makes a run back to his father, cleaning himself up as he goes and praying no one is paying attention to him over the fire and smoke going on from around the amok currently destroying the city. 

Unbeknownst to the two, a certain hero in blue watches down on them, his lips pursed and frown on his features. Slowly, he drops down to assist the other hero. 

-

Adrien wheezes, coughing against his father’s shoulder. The man holds him bridle style, though Adrien knows his hand being on his ass is far from necessary. Duusu had settled on Adrien’s lap at some point, there for moral support as Adrien hacked and cried, the smoke burning at his throat and eyes alike. 

“What were you  _ thinking,” _ Nathalie scolds as she watches Gabriel sit the blonde down in a chair, the wheezing not letting up, “She could have been  _ killed! _ Do you wish for your daughter to end up like your wife?” 

“There was smoke and  _ fire, Nathalie,” _ Gabriel argues in return, his glare harsh on his assistant. 

“She could have  _ died!” _

Adrien doesn’t comment, forcing air in and out of his lungs. He has burns all along his body, too, specifically one along his left thigh and hip. As he had learned, the suit helped with a lot of things, but, in that particular moment, it hadn’t helped as it resulted in the harsh burn that was now blistered. Nathalie seemed to already be moving to get the first-aid kit. Adrien could barely tell what she was doing through his own burning tears and the pain that came with the burns and harsh coughing. He was rather sure he tasted blood. 

Nathalie continues to clean up the child as if he were her biological own. The woman had fallen for Gabriel and Emilie, had grown close to their spawn, too, but she thinks that maybe now… Those feelings were beginning to dwindle. 

-

“Le Paon transformed into Chat Noir,” Ladybug asks with a raised brow. Roi Singe had screamed at the red heroine that they needed to call an emergency meeting, Viperion promptly saying that they had a lot to discuss now. She was sure they did, especially after what she had heard from the two heroes now. 

Roi nods sharply,  _ “Yes!” _

She looks to Viperion for confirmation, who also nods, “They did, Ladybug. They called for the kwami, Plagg, to transform them before they threw Roi Singe off of them and started running. They looked petrified,” 

Pegase frowns, “Can we hear the  _ whole _ story and not just bits and pieces, please?” 

Roi Singe nods. “Of course! After we got separated from the group, I cornered Le Paon in an alleyway. I pinned them to the ground and they kind of panicked. I mean, full fucking panic, panic attack with heavy breathing and crying sort of panic.” he looks guilty, grimacing. “They looked so terrified, Ladybug…” He takes a moment to breathe before saying, “Then, they panicked pretty bad, called for Plagg and Duusu to mix, then claws out or whatever… They said they were sorry, that they didn’t want to do this, and… They said my  _ name, _ Ladybug. My  _ real _ name!” 

Ladybug sharpens, her own breathing coming in quick. “Your name beneath the mask?” 

“My name beneath the mask!” He confirms. “They  _ knew, _ Ladybug! They knew  _ me!” _

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Adrien runs his finger along the bruises on his wrist, left hand connected to his right wrist. Plagg sat on one of his shoulders, Duusu on the other. Since his physical fight with Roi Singe, he had spent almost all of his time either transformed as Le Poan or in his father’s presence. Gabriel had a never-ending plethora of potions that he kept giving the blonde, who knew better than to dispute any of them. A lot of them came with some healing properties, others that didn’t. Adrien preferred the ones that would heal him so he didn’t have to sit in the shower for hours upon hours scrubbing his skin until it bleed. He now had a scar on his hip, though, a burn scar left by the burn that had plagued his skin. 

He can’t do this anymore. He fucking  _ can’t. _ The mental toll of being locked up in his house was enough, but the added stress of his father’s sudden lack of where he draws the line with his son and the lack of seeing  _ literally anyone else. _ Everyone had heard that Adrien had been attacked during the last akuma, so no one was raising any suspicious brows when Gabriel had said Adrien needed a few days off from school and modeling. His body hurts as he forces himself to stand. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he whispers to his kwamis, “This is… This is  _ too much, _ okay?” 

“What are you gonna do,” Duusu tentatively asks. 

“I’m getting Ladybug,” he says simply. 

Plagg raises a brow, quickly asking, “How?” 

“Plagg,” Adrien says with a watery smile, “claws out.” 

-

Ladybug sighs, her transformation falling away as she steps out from the darkness. She kept getting overwhelmed by akumas and amoks, so, hopefully, tonight would be calmer. However, the instant she steps out, her yo-yo buzzes, the tell-tale sign that someone was calling her. It had to be one of the other heroes. Her mind instantly snaps to the fear that there’s another akuma or amok. She doesn’t hesitate to answer it. 

“Is it an akuma or amok,” the heroine asks without hesitation

However, a relieved sigh leaves the other person on the line, their voice happily calling,  _ “Ladybug! You answered!” _

Ladybug stops dead in her tracks, mouth open wide, eyes the size of saucers now as she asks,  _ “Chat Noir?!” _

“LB, I know you’re mad at me,” the boy in black starts, “But,  _ please, _ I need help! I know who Hawkmoth and Mayura both are!” 

“What about Le Poan,” Ladybug interrupts.

The boy doesn’t respond for a moment, but she can hear a wet sob leave him. “I - I can explain, Ladybug, _ please?” _

She softens, her anxiety invading as she asks, “Please what, Chatton?” 

“Get the heroes together, please? I need as many as you can get together. This won’t take a lot of power, really, but…. Hawkmoth  _ changed, _ a lot.” 

Ladybug is tentative, stepping on eggshells. She can hear the fear in his voice, as well as the genuine sobs that he sounds like he’s trying to suppress so harshly. For the most part, he’s succeeding, but…. Slowly, she agrees, “Alright, Chat. We’ll meet at the Eiffel Tower, okay?” 

It’s silent for a moment before the cat dumbly says, “Oh, I just nodded, by the way.” 

She laughs, tears collecting in her eyes as she says, “I know, Chat, I know.” 

-

Adrien moves forward, his stomach aching as he lands in the middle of the group of heroes. It’s not everyone, but it’s the main group, as far as he can tell. Roi Singe, Pegase, Ladybug, Rena Rouge, Ryuuko, Queen Bee, Carapace, and Viperion all sit around the red heroine, awaiting the arrival of the hero they had missed. Adrien doesn’t feel like a hero as he lands. In fact, he feels especially bad as he flinches away from Ladybug, denying her hug that he knew would be coming with a far too distressed, “Please, don’t touch me?” The rushed words are almost indecipherable, but Ladybug steps back instantaneously. 

“Chat,” she trails off with, her voice pitiful, “What happened?” 

Chat Noir forces a smile, trying his best not to shake as the other tentatively examines him. He wipes his face as tears begin falling. “I’m so so - sorry,” he cries, “I’m sorry, Roi, I di - didn’t mean to say your identity - ty out loud or in public.” 

The boy’s eyes widen. “So, you  _ are-” _

“I’m Le Poan,” he says with a nod, practically wailing it as he grips at his chest where the miraculous currently sits, clipped there and shown over the suit. “I don’t  _ want _ to be! I don’t want to be Le poan! I’m not  _ bad!” _

“No,” Carapace says, which makes Adrien jerk forward. His heart stops before he listens to the other continues, “You’re no bad guy, Chat….” 

Chat nods sharply, a harsh sob wracking his body. “I - I’m not- I didn’t want to - I  _ can’t, _ guys, I can’t keep doing  _ this.” _

Rena Rouge nods slowly. “It’s alright, Chat Noir, we trust you….” 

The cat really loves the fox heroine,  _ really. _ She always knew what to say, so careful with herself as she does so. He loved Queen Bee and Ryuuko for the same reason. Now, he knows he has to get his story out before he falls into too many pieces. “Okay, my father,  _ he’s _ Hawkmoth. He wants my - my mom back. I don’t, she’s  _ abusive, _ especially paired with his neglect a - and isolation.” He forces down a cry and does his best to continue. “The - Th - They  _ love _ each other. I thought we could maybe be a fam - amily again, but…. THey were never kind, even together. My mother was Le Poan, then my father’s assistant was Mayura, and now  _ I’m _ Le Poan and he’s push - shing her away and  _ touching me-” _

“He raped you,” Ladybug asks, her voice stone and cold as she does so. Adrien can feel her anger, but he  _ knows _ it wasn’t aimed at him. “Or did he sexually assault you, Chat,  _ at all?” _

Adrien can feel himself crumbling as he says, “b - both, and it’s not the fir - first time, either.” 

Her grip tightens, fists balled at her sides,  _ shaking. _ “I’m going to fucking  _ kill _ him,” she says coldly. 

“The peacock miraculous,” Chat interrupts, his second kwami finally making her appearance by sitting on the boy’s shoulder, “it was broken. It killed my mother and was slowly killing my father’s assistant. I - I don’t want them  _ back,” _ he whimpers, “Nathalie was okay and she’s more of a mother than my own,  _ but…” _

“We won’t let  _ anyone _ hurt you,” Ladybug says solidly, her hands curling and uncurling, gripping at air. 

“I know,” he cries with a smile, “I - I really  _ know, _ LB.” He wipes his face with a sniffle, smiling as Duusu wipes his tear-stained cheeks. “Plagg, claws in,” he says quickly, his transformation falling within an instant. 

Ladybug steps back, mouth wide as she looks at the other. Adrien had come here in a rush, throwing on a shirt and shorts, so he wasn’t in too much, to begin with. He was sure they could all see the handprints on his skin and the burn on his side that lit his skin red. They were healed, though, bruising just took an extra while. The others have their own gasps. 

“How in the  _ fuck _ do you make time to be a villain, hero, go to school, and also work as a famous model,” Queen Bee asks. 

“Same way you do,” he replies with a smirk, sniffling as Plagg settles in his hand. “He… I’m not sure what Hawkmoth would have done if I  _ hadn’t _ accepted his offer....” 

“Adrien,” Ladybug replies slowly, “Before we do anything…. I need to know something.” 

Adrien bristles, but does his best to look at her face while she’s talking. It’s especially hard. 

“Whose all identities do you know?” 

Adrien lets out a relieved sigh, “That all?” Ladybug nods. “Rena, Queenie’s, Viperion, Carapace, Roi, Ryuuko- Actually,  _ everyone, _ apparently.” he blinks owlishly at the two. 

“You know  _ my _ identity,” Ladybug asks. 

He nods instantly, snapping his head up and down. “Yeah! C - Can I say it? Since we’re gonna take Hawkmoth down and secret identities won’t matter?” 

Viperion laughs softly. “You’ve really thought this out, haven’t you?” 

Adrien shakes his head, _ no, _ rushing to reply, “No, actually, spur of the moment decision to run because I was tired of being isolated, thanks.” he turns back towards the original heroine, asking, “But can I?” 

She lets out a sigh, smiling softly as she says, “Yeah, I guess, Adrien….” 

“Ladybug! Also known as Multimouse, Lady Noir, Multifox, Multinoir, Multibug, Dragonbug-” 

“Holy shit,” the hero laughs with a smile, “Plagg told you?” 

“He told me about you wearing the other miraculouses!” He waves his hand at her, “And,  _ finally, _ Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” 

Rena laughs loudly like she had been struck by the funniest joke. “Marinette!  _ You’re  _ Ladybug!” 

“She is!” Adrien justifies happily, presenting the woman with a wide smile, “My best friend in the suit and yours out of it!” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Here is my discord! You can see notes, spoilers, thought process, and a lot of other stuff there if it interests any of you!  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy


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